40 weeks. Sigh. // Real Life Pregnancy Chronicles #9

I was really hoping I wouldn’t get to write this blog post. But here I am – 40 weeks. Full term. Fed up with being pregnant. I envisioned the last week of my pregnancy as a time of reflection and nostalgically writing in my baby book about how excited we are to have her here (immediately after I finish my last entry and close the book, I feel a labour pang).  WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. Rewind. Am I living in a flipping movie people?  This last week has been a time of running around like crazy for the first few days getting errands done and cleaning my house like a mad woman because I didn’t know how long I had before this baby came. I thought I might have only had a few days. After exhausting myself I promptly sat on the couch for about 3 days straight because a) I was exhausted and b) I had the worst cramps ever. I thought these cramps meant I was going into labor but nope. It’s like nature’s way of torturing you for days on end BEFORE the actual act of labour so that you get to your breaking point.  Bring on the pain, just bring on the real deal. I’m so ready.

Patience is not a virtue that I possess so this past 10 days has been really trying. I have to admit that I’ve been pretty restless the last few days and am having to really work hard at keeping myself busy or I may just lose my shit. I’m not sure how many times you can clean your house in one week but I think I may hold the Guinness Book of World Records new title.  The problem is that I want a clean house when the baby is born but as I’m sure you know, life is pretty messy and it’s a constant struggle to keep it clean. Especially since my hubby works from home and my step son is now home on Christmas holidays.  That in and of itself can be a full time job but then there is the nesting aspect. I’ve already baked muffins, a lemon loaf and a myriad of nice dinners. This may not sound like a lot but I DON’T BAKE. Like ever. Oh and I have organized every single closet and cupboard in my house and done all my laundry. I’ve even hand washed sweaters that have been sitting in my laundry basket for 6 months (give or take 6 months – don’t judge).  I’ve blogged. All my Christmas presents are wrapped. My husband taught me how to play Backgammon and we have played at least a few times a day.  My fridge and freezer are stocked.  I’ve watched about 30 movies on Netflix. What to do now??!!  I suppose I could clean my windows but I mean, come on, that may be a stretch even for me.

Another lovely perk of pregnancy that’s cropped up this past week is sciatica. Holy mother of god is it ever painful. I can’t really bend down anymore without having a shooting pain in my foot.  It feels like someone is literally sticking a knife into me.  Now when I drop something (which is all the time because I’m sooo clumsy right now) my poor hubby has to come pick it up for me. Pathetic.

If you have any labour inducing techniques that I should try PLEASE, PLEASE HOOK A SISTA UP. I’ve tried all the standard ones so this has got to be something that isn’t easily found on the internet that seemed to work for you. Even if I have to find a giraffe and ride it backwards for 15 hours while wearing a pink tutu, I am willing to give it a shot. And I hate pink.

I”m just going to leave you here with this picture as it pretty much sums up my life right now. I’ve been fighting off “is baby here yet?” text messages like crazy the last week with nothing but this picture.  It seems to do the trick.